Big Sky returned last night and I am not sure how much I care. Of all the fall TV I am looking forward to returning this is towards the bottom of my list. The show has moved to Wednesday from Thursday and I didn’t even notice and spent half the day today thinking it was Friday because Big Sky taped last night, and this annoys me. If you are not already watching Big Sky you are missing nothing. No need to start. Season 1 was halfway decent and if you are really desperate and bored (like me) then go for it. But then you can safely stop after that and rest assured you are missing nothing except more hours of your life.

Reba McEntire is in this season and I am here for it. But I am unable to think about Reba McEntire without picturing the Lonely Island & Keenan Thompson absolutely genius song “Two Worlds Collide” for SNL. If you have not yet seen it, you are in for a treat. Keenan Thompson finds a red wig in a dumpster and pretends to be Reba McIntire and seduces Andy Samberg. This song is a also a legit banger and I blast it in the car. I’m cackling just thinking about it. I’M REBA!

ANYWAY, it’s all been downhill in the town of Big Sky since Ryan Phillipe was killed off in Episode 1 of Season 1 of this extremely mid-show, so maybe Reba can be the one to turn things around.

Off the bat it appears Big Sky has rebranded itself for the season as “Big Sky: Deadly Trails” and so naturally I am expecting Captain Jack Sparrow to make an appearance and save this mess of a show. I’m also immediately reminded that Jensen Ackles of Supernatural joined the cast last season (a role so memorable I completely forgot about it until now) and can’t help but wonder what he is doing on such a mediocre show after his supremely perfect performance on far superior show The Boys.

Spoilers ahead (jk, no one cares): Creepy outsider, woods, hiking, hiker, rocks, falling, someone dies, blah blah, mystery blah. Really wasting no time on the “deadly trail” reveal. Mystery solved can I stop watching now? (No because ABC owns my soul as long as Grey’s Anatomy is on. Don’t ask, I made a deal with the dev- I mean Meredith Grey.)

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I feel sorry for the producers of this episode because you know they were dying to get inside that Caribou Club in Aspen to film Kathy Hilton’s epic meltdown, and TBH I was also dying for them to be inside because epic meltdowns are the entire reason I watch this show. And for Erika Jayne’s zero fucks. And Lisa Rinna’s snark. And Harry Hamlin’s spaghetti sauce. And Kyle and Mauricio’s strangely functional marriage. And for Dorit’s insane ego and also strangely functional marriage. And for Diana having babies well into her late 40’s while engaged to someone in their 20’s. And for Garcelle’s sanity. And for Sutton’s clueless southern innocence. FUCK I have a lot of reasons to watch this show and will never, ever stop.

Back to the meltdown we did not get to see, I am also mad at the crew for not working double overtime in the snow to film late night at Kyle’s when Lisa and Kathy got back and apparently Kathy devolved into more chaos, including threatening to destroy her sister Kyle and Kyle’s whole family!?!? Lisa Rinna claims it was so severe she has PTSD from the experience! Like, why was no one filming this.

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