I am probably the last person on the planet to watch the Patient, but better late than never! I really knew nothing about the premise going in, only that 1) it was creepy and dark (according to my family text group), and 2) it was nominated for a bunch of awards, including a best supporting… Read more: The Patient – Deadly Good

Ahhh, it’s that time of year. Bachelor season. Well, season, and also Season – as in Season 27 (!!!). I have been watching this show for over half my life, which is sad and depressing and I also plan never stopping as long as they will have me. After 25 years of watching women develop… Read more: Bachelor Season 27 – The Most Dramatic(ally Boring) Season Yet

I hate gimmicky TV viewing experiences. Example – the Black Mirror “choose your own adventure” episode that had like, 1 billion different outcomes depending on which options you selected while viewing the show – just no. Just show me the best storyline and ending? Is that so hard? As such I’ve watched every single episode… Read more: Kaleidoscope – Another Day, Another Gimmick

Here we are, once again, subjecting ourselves to the torture that is Bachelor in Paradise. I force my husband to read my BIP posts every week, even though he isn’t watching this season and hasn’t watched a season of Bachelor or Bachelorette in protest since Chris Harrison left (that really hit him hard!), so he… Read more: Bachelor in Paradise Week 6, pt. 2 – Don’t Gaslight Me!

This movie had some interesting ideas but never developed any of them. It didn’t have any of the darkness of the first movie, which made the first movie feel real. The opening scene of HP1 is legit scary and suspenseful – they straight-up murder a child and then get hung. The witches were actually menacing… Read more: Hocus Pocus 2 – According To My Husband

According to Jesse Palmer this is going to be “another dramatic week” – WTF? If it’s not the MOST dramatic week in Paradise history, I’m not interested. Here we go and with a rose ceremony to kick things off. Actually forgot about these because there have only been two rose ceremonies in the six weeks… Read more: Bachelor in Paradise Week 6, Pt. 1 – The Least Dramatic Episode Yet

When I first saw this announcement I immediately checked the calendar to see if it was some kind of prank day. Not only is this news completely insane, but the worst part is that they are replacing him with LIAM FUCKING HEMSWORTH, aka Gale fucking Hawthorne, aka the most boring person on the planet. This… Read more: THE WORST THING TO EVER HAPPEN TO ME IN MY LIFE – HENRY CAVILL IS LEAVING THE WITCHER

The day has finally arrived!! It’s merge day, baby, and it’s gonna be chaos. But first can we just comment on the fact that the new girls were not subjected to Jesse Palmer’s awkward elimination like the new guys were last night? Where he sat the OG girls down and under the guise of being… Read more: Bachelor in Paradise Week 5 – Shaneado Alert

First of all, I have had exactly two sex dreams about Jesse Palmer in the past week. I told my husband this and his response was, “he wasn’t even a starter in the NFL.” This man is really filling the Chris Harrison-shaped hole in my heart. (Jesse Palmer not my husband.) When we last left… Read more: Bachelor in Paradise Week 5 – The Men Here Are Hot Garbage

Netflix dropped another big movie last week (aka, a special effects and casting budget that makes you wonder exactly how much money Netflix has to spend, and why they aren’t spending any of this money on WRITERS??). Seriously – this movie has EVERYTHING (Stefan voice) – witches, magic, magical creatures, a school for magic that… Read more: The School for Good and Evil – Just OK

Ugh, this show had SO much potential. So, so much. And I don’t mean like The Midnight Club which had potential in the premise but didn’t live up to it for even one single episode. The Watcher had potential up until the very last episode and then it just dropped the ball so spectacularly it’s… Read more: The Watcher – I Have Questions

Night one this week was pretty much just one giant buildup to the women’s rose ceremony (FUCKING FINALLY – seriously, these people are in Paradise for 18 days and it already feels like 10 thousand years) and then we are presented with the MOST SHOCKING TWIST EVER IN BACHELOR IN PARADISE HISTORY, which is… that… Read more: Bachelor in Paradise Week 4 – Bright-Eyed and Bushy-Tailed New Bitches

Are Ashley and Jared seriously still in Paradise?! I get they are the show’s little darlings, despite the fact that both times they were on the show JARED CHOSE SOMEONE ELSE. And look, props to the girl for never giving up and eventually getting her man. They are actually a very cute couple who seem… Read more: Bachelor in Paradise Week 3 – Salley’s Back and No One Cares

It’s always an exciting day when I discover a new vampire show. I watch them all. Sadly this also means I have wasted hours (probably years) of my life on some truly terrible shows. But since I have learned nothing from the past and live only for the present (kind of like a dog but… Read more: Vampire Academy: Follow The Rules or DIE

The writers at Netflix have heard my prayers (JK, fuck them for making us wait until Summer 2023 for Witcher Season 3), and have decided that a year is enough time to go without Henry Cavill on our TV screens, so they have brought back Enola Holmes for a second season dropping November 4th. This… Read more: Enola Holmes 2 Trailer – (More Henry Cavill, Please)

After a two-year wait with nary release date in sight, we finally have a full trailer and a release date for His Dark Materials Season 3. The final season kicks off December 5, 2022 on HBO Max. And I am READY. I read the Dark Materials trilogy all the way through three full times before… Read more: His Dark Materials – Still Exists – Season 3 Trailer is FINALLY Out!

Over the weekend my husband and I binged the new Mike Flanagan/ Netflix show – The Midnight Club. Mike Flanagan has basically an unimpeachable record when it comes to his Netflix limited series over the past five years. Starting with the Haunting of Hill House, which is a literal masterpiece, taking a slight dip with… Read more: The Midnight Club: A Tragic Tale of Wasted Potential

Grey’s Anatomy is back and back to it’s roots with a whole fresh new class of incoming residents who very much mirror Meredith Grey and her OG class from 19 seasons ago. Every few seasons or so we get some new interns, but this year it’s clear the show is looking for a major (and… Read more: Grey’s Anatomy Season 19: The New Class

This absolute train wreck of a show has been on for a million seasons. OK so I looked it up and it’s actually fifteen seasons – fifteen!!! That is a LOT. That’s like, Supernatural-territory (the show, not the phenomena- shoutout to Jensen Ackles!). In addition there are two international spinoffs of the American MAFS –… Read more: Some Deep Thoughts on Married at First Sight: San Diego

First of all, I am very proud of this title and stand by it, even though my husband informed me it doesn’t make sense so I had to explain it to him. And my husband is a very smart man, so if you get it, congrats! You are officially smarter than my husband! Back to… Read more: Bachelor in Paradise Season 8, Episode 3: Cucktail Party

Look. Lindsay Lohan has had quite an… Intense past 18 years, which is how long ago Mean Girls came out, and if you feel old hearing that, it’s because you are. It’s anybody’s guess what LiLo has been up to since then. I think she did a couple low budge indie films no one saw,… Read more: A Very Lindsay Christmas

Any seasoned Bachelor in Paradise viewer knows that episode 2 and on is all about the new kids. No matter how gorgeous your current partner is, a new person is always hotter. Nothing beats new. It’s science. Just ask Chris Rock: The episode’s first science experiment proving my hypothesis is Victoria F., who arrives waving… Read more: Bachelor in Paradise Season 8, Episode 2: The New Batch

Bachelor in Paradise is back and the weeks of your life you lost sitting through the past year’s seasons of Bachelor and Bachelorette are about to finally pay off in the form of vaguely recognizing maybe half the cast members. Personally I’ve never missed an episode of Bach/lorette and I still only recognize about five… Read more: Bachelor in Paradise Season 8, Episode 1: Make Bachelor Drunk & Horny Again

Look, we are on Season 547,652 of 90 Day Fiancé (+ fill in the blank spinoff). There is no way to begin to summarize what is going on with this show and these people, some of which are on their fifth or sixth season of this mess by now, so I am not even going… Read more: 90 Day Fiancé: Happily Ever After? A Few Thoughts…

Yellowstone is the kind of show that is so incredible and I hold in such high regard I am not sure I can even write about it because words feel inadequate compared to the depth of perfection this show reaches. That said I am not going to deprive my audience of 2 of the best… Read more: BETTER CALL BETH: YELLOWSTONE SEASON 5 FULL TRAILER IS OUT

After the traumatic events of two days ago when I was misled by a scammy Facebook post into thinking YOU was slated to return on October 15 of this year, the evil overlords at Netflix have finally announced the real date for Season 4 of YOU and it’s February 10, 2023. They also dropped a… Read more: STOP EVERYTHING: YOU Season 4 Has a Release Date

Spent the first 15 minutes convinced this was Shailene Woodley. Side note – is she still dating Aaron Rodgers? Because that made sense, right? Ok so it’s not Shailene Woodley because Shailene Woodley, like me and everyone other human on the planet, has aged and is no longer 25. But I feel like I haven’t… Read more: Please (Don’t) Tell Me Lies

This show was on my list long before won ALL the Emmy’s. Just making sure everyone knows I am not a bandwagoner!! Jk who TF cares. Abbot Elementary is a “mock-umentrary” like The Office, Reno 911, or Parks & Recreation, so the characters are interviewed by a never-seen “cameraman” in between scenes, and during scenes… Read more: Abbott Elementary is Adorable

Do Revenge is smart and hilarious and is the closest anything has come to Clueless/ Heathers territory since… Clueless and Heathers. It’s way above average for a typical Netflix movie, which can range from absolute shit to strongly mediocre. Don’t get me wrong, that’s what I love and expect from Netflix. Especially around the holidays… Read more: Definitely Do Revenge

Big Sky returned last night and I am not sure how much I care. Of all the fall TV I am looking forward to returning this is towards the bottom of my list. The show has moved to Wednesday from Thursday and I didn’t even notice and spent half the day today thinking it was… Read more: Big Sky is Back – Do we Care?

I feel sorry for the producers of this episode because you know they were dying to get inside that Caribou Club in Aspen to film Kathy Hilton’s epic meltdown, and TBH I was also dying for them to be inside because epic meltdowns are the entire reason I watch this show. And for Erika Jayne’s… Read more: The Real Meltdown of Beverly Hills