The School for Good and Evil – Just OK

Netflix dropped another big movie last week (aka, a special effects and casting budget that makes you wonder exactly how much money Netflix has to spend, and why they aren’t spending any of this money on WRITERS??). Seriously – this movie has EVERYTHING (Stefan voice) – witches, magic, magical creatures, a school for magic that looks suspiciously like the rejected sketches for Hogwarts, Charlize Theron’s hair, Laurence Fishburne’s tiny little sunglasses, Cate Blanchett’s voice, Olivia Pope, and Michelle frickin’ Yeoh.

This movie has EVERYTHING.

Look, I love myself some A-list celebrities. But I get a little suss when so many A-List celebrities are packed into one movie. It feels very overcompensating-y, and suspiciously like we are trying to be distracted from the fact that the movie itself is pretty mediocre (ahem, Wes Anderson). Like when you distract a baby with a shiny object so that it doesn’t notice the doctor giving it a shot. Netflix, I am not a baby!!

Shiny objects

The School for Good and Evil is right up my alley, in theory. It’s about magical school that divides its students between “good” and “evil” and trains them to be the future princesses and villains of fairytales. Or something like that.

Two girls from a local town find out about the school, and one of the girls, convinced she is destined to be a storybook princess, writes to the school begging them to take her. The school grants her request, but her best friend accidentally gets swept up (literally) and they both get dropped into the school – only the wannabe princess gets put into villain-training at the school for Evil, and her reluctant stowaway best friend into princess-training at the school for Good.

From the start things are not exactly what they seem at either school, and there are some mysterious dark forces working in the background that provide the necessary conflict and ultimate resolution of the plot. The story is fun and moves along quickly. The celebrity distractions work. This movie isn’t trying to be too serious, and while it does end with a tease for a sequel, there are no unanswered questions when the credits roll (THANK GOD).

A reluctant princess in training

It’s an easy movie to watch and enjoy but in the end its nothing spectacular. Most of the top named celebs are only on screen for a few minutes, save for Charlize and Kerry who get maybe 10 minutes apiece. Michelle Yeoh has maybe three lines and they are all cringe.

Which is the next problem – the writing is dismal. It truly is. The story itself has plenty of potential. And I am sure the book this is based on is far better than the adaptation. There are some genuinely great moments mixed in with the cringey one-liners and jokes that fall flat. And Charlize Theron’s performance alone is reason enough to watch this movie.

Villains in training

Look, if you like Harry Potter-y things you will enjoy this movie. I do and I did. Part of my problem could be that this genre is so directly in my wheelhouse that I am more critical than a more passive viewer would be. Do I wish they had spent more money on writers instead of superfluous celebrity castings? Yes. Will I watch this movie more than once? No. Will I watch the sequel when it comes out? Definitely yes.

⭐️⭐️⭐️

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