Spent the first 15 minutes convinced this was Shailene Woodley. Side note – is she still dating Aaron Rodgers? Because that made sense, right?

Ok so it’s not Shailene Woodley because Shailene Woodley, like me and everyone other human on the planet, has aged and is no longer 25. But I feel like I haven’t seen her in a movie since she was 25/ play anyone over the age of 25 in a movie, like, ever?

I just googled and learned how to spell “Shailene” properly, and also learned she is 30 and the last thing I saw her in was Big Little Lies (uhh Tell Me Lies? Big Little Lies? Hmmm.) which hasn’t been on since 2019 (excuse me, what happened to season 3??) so really I haven’t seen her in anything since she was 27 and she actually is a lot younger than I thought she was.

I also learned that she has a pretty fierce mugshot from when she was protesting the Dakota Pipeline.

I am still not convinced this actress I am watching now is not Shailene Woodley. Like, I know she isn’t, but is she? Shailene Woodley seems like she could be some kind of shape shifting forest fairy sprite. Just saying I’m not taking it off the table yet. But I will get over it and move on (probably not).

Grace Van Patton (Shailene Woodley) plays Lucy Albright who is clearly the main character here. This is clearly going to be a time-jump situation where we are starting in the present but flashing back to the past, namely 2015 when Lucy is heading to college at “Baird” is clearly supposed to be a small private liberal arts school on the east coast which makes me nostalgic for my own small private liberal arts school on the east coast days.

Grace is concerned she is a sociopath because she has no emotions and doesn’t get excited about things. Grace and her new BFF’s/ roommates (Pippa, Bree, Macy and Diana) head to a frat party where they discover only freshman girls were invited. Creepy. She is warned to stay away from Wrigley who is a junior already dating one of the incoming freshman after they met when she toured the year before. Soooo when she was a minor. Ew. BUT Grace is intrigued by Wrigleys dark and intriguing friend, Stephen DeMarco. Personally I find him grating. He’s talking too much about sex and I think we are supposed to think he’s cool but he’s just super cringe and borderline rapey. Am I too old for this show?

Clearly something weird is going on with Grace and her mom who seems overbearing and Grace clearly hates. It’s implied her dad has passed away and this has been (understandably) devastating for Grace. She is easily triggered by a phone call from her mom and feels sick for there rest of the day and blows off her roommate Macy’s invite to a party.

I just made the executive decision that I am not live-blogging this shit I mean show. I can already tell this is going to be one of those slow burn mystery type things that unfolds slowly but – hopefully – intriguingly and ultimately satisfyingly. I cannot stand a slow burn mystery that does not pay off fully in the end. I expect nothing less than 100% answered questions and 0% loose ends or else I am not happy. This doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate a minorly tease-y cliffhanger, but only when it introduces something new at the last minute, not when it is in regards to something we have been waiting to be resolved all season long.

WHOA so Macy died at last night’s party that Grace skipped. I didn’t expect this show to involve a murder but now I’m intrigued. Better solve that murder by the end of the season or I will be pisssssssed. And I am sure this show cares about nothing more than my own personal gratification.

Side note – I remember from college that if your roommate died (this did not happen at Colby or to anyone I know) you got automatic A’s for the semester. Is this true or some urban legend? In fact I think it WAS the movie Urban Legend that introduced me to this concept. Side note – Urban Legend is the fucking SHIT. Peak 90’s perfection. Jared Leto!? Joshua Jackson with blonde hair?! Tara Reid?? The Noxema girl?? Name a better movie I dare you.

Stephen continues to be creepy and annoying and un-redeeming in all ways but it’s already clear Grace is going to sleep with him and become obsessed with him. This was foreshadowed by her sister commenting when she left for college after feeling no emotion breaking up with her high school boyfriend that “someday you will meet a guy and he will get under your skin and just rot there.” First of all, ew. Second, ew that it’s clearly going to be Stephen. I don’t trust him. He asks too many questions that make it seem like he cares but he’s obviously just prying into her life and I am guessing he has ulterior motives which better be revealed before the season is up!

OK So I was right Stephen is a piece of shit. He tries to sleep with Grace and she puts the breaks on but promises to go to dinner with him, only to come back to his room where Diana, a beautiful upper classmen we met at the party the first night, is waiting for him – aaaaaand she is his girlfriend! And he swears he isn’t cheating, again! And he swears he slept at the frat house the night before! Oh this guy is a lying dick and I hope he’s the next to die- Urban Legend style, baby.

OK so I just spent 3 hours writing in detail about each of the first four episodes of this show and my internet browser refreshed and deleted everything – despite WordPress supposedly auto saving everything every minute or so. Who do I file a complaint with? 

But TBH it’s probably a sign from god because most of what I wrote was pretty boring, because this show is pretty boring. We haven’t re-visited present day since the end of Episode 1. Stephen continues to be an awful person with no redeeming qualities who is inexplicably sleeping with two different gorgeous girls without either of them being the wiser, and we are pretty sure he is the show’s titular liar. 

We find out that Wrigley’s little brother, Drew, was the one who accidentally ran Macy off the road that fateful night resulting in her death and he fled the scene. This seems like a pretty major secret that hasn’t really caused many issues – yet. There is a lot of super unrealistic college sex – like, sober in the middle of the day? Women actually having orgasms? Sorry, doesn’t happen. Men have zero clue how to have sex in college. Their brains are barely formed. They are only slightly more advanced than small children. 

There are a few mysteries that I am left needing answers to. Why did Stephen have a weird phone call with his mom that ruined his entire night and then she ghosted him when he called back? Why isn’t Lucy’s mom, Cate Capshaw aka Dr. Arizona Robbins of Grey’s Anatomy, in this more?? She is the only one I really care about so far. 

So far this show hasn’t provided enough answers and I am not interested enough in the unanswered questions to even care. It could redeem itself in future episodes. I hate switching to week to week but that’s where we’re at from here on out. Sooo buckle up, this will be a boring ride!

2.5 stars.